Tony Alamo is at it again. Talk about a guy who just can’t stay out of the news, and for all of the wrong reasons…
Recently one of Tony Alamo’s shills, Thomas Richards, declared me to be a Jesuit coadjutor. I wonder what he has to say about the fact that ole Tony has his bum in a bind again? Over the weekend I visited the Tony Alamo’s ministerial website and listened to the recording of him asking children and young adults whether or not he ever molested them. Then Tony’s wife gives her blast about how this is all the work of the evil Vatican. (Don’t get Thomas Richards wound up…) Then Tony rambled on about how God tells him what he should eat and what shoes to wear. And how well connected he was in Hollywood and how he was a professional bodybuilder and how all the movie studios wanted to make films of his kid…
Oh, I almost forgot, he also called his accusers homosexuals and paedophiles. Not to say that these accusers are or aren’t homosexuals and paedophiles but I guess it would make Tony feel better that his accusers weren’t straight like him.
So I kinda thought to myself, “Wow! The young ones that Tony picked out to record their testimonies all said ‘no, we weren’t molested! Tony Alamo is the best man in the world.’ That’s it. The Tony has spoken, I believe it and that settles it!”
Tony, if you are guilty then may you rot in hell. If you are innocent, well, here’s some advice: It is probably time you started to watch out who your running buddies are. If these folks accusing you are so God awful then how did they get close to you? Isn’t it kind of like Jerry Falwell knowing that there was a cartoon of him committing incest with his mother in Hustler magazine? Surely it wasn’t a Christian who alerted him to this?!?
Maybe since I am from the same part of Arkansas as where the Tony Alamo Ministry has its campus and since I am such an obvious Jesuit coadjutor (according to Thomas Richards) and since the Vatican is behind all of this (according to Mrs. Alamo), then maybe I was the one who was working behind the scenes to bring Tony’s downfall? Nah!
But wouldn’t it be nice?
Last Friday, my high school football team, the Prescott Curly Wolves made a visit to Foulk, Arkansas. This wasn’t to visit Tony Alamo’s ministry though. It was to beat the pants off the local football team.
Prescott Curly Wolves 60
Foulke Panthers 12